Sunday, October 24, 2004

Despair

I am a very bad writer. I wrote for awhile yesterday and every single sentence was awful. The words that made up the sentences were inferior words, and I spelled some of them incorrectly. Then, as now, Opal sits 12 inches from me staring at me like a freak. I'm a bad writer who is co-dependent with her cat who has a bad personality.

This is what's wrong with my writing:
I am unsure who I'm writing to.
Despite having written about 50 pages, I'm not entirely clear about the subject of the writing.
I use evangelical vocabulary like "God's people" and "in my heart"
I am hopelessly self-centered, evidenced that I write about myself, I think about what I've written about myself, and then I blog to share with others the thoughts I have about what I've written about myself.
I imitate Anne Lamott and Kathleen Norris and don't have a writer's voice of my own. I'm a poser.
My ass is too fat. (See, that's something Anne Lamott would say - not really something I would say).
My office smells like cat piss. Pica, the neighbor cat came over for a visit, and Opal got so upset she peed on her litter box runner.

My other point of despair is that NO ONE HAS COMMENTED ON THE BEAUTY OF MY NEW BLOG DESIGN! I like it because it doesn't have boxes anymore. I like the simplicity and openness of a single page, and I like the new colors. I think they even might be my colors of preference - not Anne Lamott's colors, not Kathleen Norris' colors, not James Frey's colors, and not Todd Friel's colors. That's a small start toward becoming myself, but a start nonetheless.

I'm really not fishing for compliments about my writing, but I am fishing for compliments about the new blog colors. If I've learned anything from being married to James, it's that if I want a compliment, I should ask for one directly. This truth has been useful in other contexts, as well - feel free to borrow it.

// posted by Jenell Williams Paris @ 4:48 PM

18 Comments:

  • Hi Jenell! I like your new colors! I'm glad you mentioned them so that I'd know to come see!

    By Blogger B1, at 9:36 PM  

  • I just ran into Anne Lamott the other day at the drug store. I used to attend church with her. She is great!
    You blog is wonderful. Keep it coming from your heart... that is where it is real.

    Peace,
    Rick

    By Blogger Rick, at 10:24 PM  

  • Umm, I had noticed the new colors but didn't say anything 'cause I wasn't sure when they changed and didn't want to highlight the fact that I hadn't noticed them if they had changed some time ago.

    And I think your voice is unique and distinct.

    By Blogger Ben, at 7:51 AM  

  • Hmmm. Well, I definitely understand the challenges of trying to write something that makes sense. So I thought I'd pass along a quote that sort of helps. Sometimes. And not as a kick in the pants, but as a sympathy quote:

    "Don't get it right; get it written." --James Thurber

    Maybe, just for today, having written something will be enough?

    By Blogger Joie De Vivre, at 11:12 AM  

  • You're only the best damn writer in the blogoverse, Jenell. And I dig the new design.

    By Blogger Hugo, at 1:24 PM  

  • Your ass is not fat. It is cute & perky.

    I like the colors. They remind me of your house. (Well, except for the bright pink & the lack of red. But the peach, green, & periwinkle are quite familiar.) It's purty. :)
    -Rachel L.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:52 PM  

  • Hmmm. I think I disagree with the claim that you are a very bad writer! I have been reading your blog for a few weeks (and I've read back a few months) and I very much enjoy your intelligence, creativity, humility and humor which surely comes through your writing. It's really wunderbar, thoughtful and appealing.

    Humorously, even your lamenting over your writing demonstrates your quality! What can you do? You cannot excape your writing fate. Luke, I am your father, etc.

    Also, you challenge my notions of Evangelical broadly and Bethel specifically (I am a--not so terribly proud--product of both worlds).

    Troy

    By Blogger troyus_maximus, at 3:40 PM  

  • What?? You couldn't heat me last week when I opened your blog and saw the new changes and went "oooooh!"?? Hm. Sorry. Next time, I'll be louder.

    By Blogger kp, at 5:28 PM  

  • I'm with Rachel, bloggy looks like your entryway -lovely!

    colleen w.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:23 PM  

  • Jenell - Yes, this writing business is stupid. Some days the words STICK ! Other days they don't. But seriously, in answer to a question of who you are writing to. You are writing to me and foryourself and for strangers dumped into cyberspace. Wow, how is that for an
    audience?

    Like I read your blog and strange people show up, like
    Rick talking about patience.     Where else can I find something like that?

    And I admit, you are innovative. When you came back from your last blogging vacation you
    interviewed yourself, so what did I do? I interviewed myself related to my
    daughter's wedding     (I copied that from you-FORGIVE ME !)

    Another reason I like your writing is that you have a link to my site. Now, that sounds stupid, but not many other people have done that. Only

    Christy
    Nile
    Jonathan
     Chris
     and yourself that I know of. I really appreciate that more than you will ever know!

    Isn't it interesting how Anne Lamont and Kathleen Norris always show up in these scenes. Several months ago an editor wrote me from........

    READ MORE

    By Blogger Dan Phillips, at 6:47 PM  

  • Jenell, the only thing I have to say is that your blog layout and colors are amazing.

    By Blogger Reid Bradley, at 11:25 AM  

  • i ditto hugo.

    By Blogger jen lemen, at 2:37 PM  

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