Wednesday, December 07, 2005
What I was going to do
I was going to blog yesterday as a warm-up to writing other thngs, but did neither. This chapter I promised to write is making me cranky. I'll be excited once i start writing, but the blank screen is bullying me.
I'm also despondent about pastoral scandals (having learned of a few more recently). [and note: I'm not talking about my current church or implying identifying information anywhere]. I've been part of seven churches in my life, and there have been ten pastoral scandals within the orbits of those churches (some at sister churches or related groups). Is that normal? There's pedophilia, affairs, boundary-crossings, pornography...all are somehow related to sex. In only one situation did the pastor stick around to reconcile with the congregation and to pursue healing and personal restoration in their midst. That was an amazing experience - when he was restored to the pulpit, he began preaching about the "shadow side" of humanity, using his experience as an example. In all other cases, the pastors disappeared without speaking to the congregation ever again.
First, I thought it was because they're all evangelical - so uncomfortable with the body that sexuality is hidden and comes out inappropriately. Then, I wondered about maleness. Sexual inappropriateness is rampant among American men, but for the most part, pastors are one of the only professions in the bar is set fairly high for sexual sins are job-threatening offenses (affairs and emotional entanglements wouldn't normally get you fired) and in which people expect greater morality from men. In one institution where I worked, a pastor's scandal was made public, but another office worker (whose offenses were 'worse') was disappeared privately. So is it maleness? If women were given similar power, we'd abuse it too - perhaps in different ways, but blaming gender isn't the answer. My final and most depressing suggestion is that something (the pastorate? the American church? Christianity as we know it?) is just rotten to the core.
Honestly, when a student tells me he's thinking about becoming a pastor (and I've never heard such an aspiration from a woman student), I wonder what's wrong with him. I want to ask, "What kind of personal sickness are you trying to feed by holding spiritual power over people?" "Why do you want a job with so little accountability?" "Why can't you just serve God in a normal job?" I also worry about the young man's tender hopes being bruised and broken in some sick church where he carries his heart's aspirations.
There's something wrong with our culture when it comes to things sexual. And there's something wrong with how church is organized in that it gives unilateral power where power ought to be shared, allows secret where truth should be told, and protects the powerful at the expense of their victims. Missionaries give thought to contextualization in other nations, but perhaps we need to consider organizational contextualization in a culture where organizations are structured for personal, group, and monetary gain - not care, kindness, restoration, and love.
I was going to blog yesterday as a warm-up to writing other thngs, but did neither. This chapter I promised to write is making me cranky. I'll be excited once i start writing, but the blank screen is bullying me.
I'm also despondent about pastoral scandals (having learned of a few more recently). [and note: I'm not talking about my current church or implying identifying information anywhere]. I've been part of seven churches in my life, and there have been ten pastoral scandals within the orbits of those churches (some at sister churches or related groups). Is that normal? There's pedophilia, affairs, boundary-crossings, pornography...all are somehow related to sex. In only one situation did the pastor stick around to reconcile with the congregation and to pursue healing and personal restoration in their midst. That was an amazing experience - when he was restored to the pulpit, he began preaching about the "shadow side" of humanity, using his experience as an example. In all other cases, the pastors disappeared without speaking to the congregation ever again.
First, I thought it was because they're all evangelical - so uncomfortable with the body that sexuality is hidden and comes out inappropriately. Then, I wondered about maleness. Sexual inappropriateness is rampant among American men, but for the most part, pastors are one of the only professions in the bar is set fairly high for sexual sins are job-threatening offenses (affairs and emotional entanglements wouldn't normally get you fired) and in which people expect greater morality from men. In one institution where I worked, a pastor's scandal was made public, but another office worker (whose offenses were 'worse') was disappeared privately. So is it maleness? If women were given similar power, we'd abuse it too - perhaps in different ways, but blaming gender isn't the answer. My final and most depressing suggestion is that something (the pastorate? the American church? Christianity as we know it?) is just rotten to the core.
Honestly, when a student tells me he's thinking about becoming a pastor (and I've never heard such an aspiration from a woman student), I wonder what's wrong with him. I want to ask, "What kind of personal sickness are you trying to feed by holding spiritual power over people?" "Why do you want a job with so little accountability?" "Why can't you just serve God in a normal job?" I also worry about the young man's tender hopes being bruised and broken in some sick church where he carries his heart's aspirations.
There's something wrong with our culture when it comes to things sexual. And there's something wrong with how church is organized in that it gives unilateral power where power ought to be shared, allows secret where truth should be told, and protects the powerful at the expense of their victims. Missionaries give thought to contextualization in other nations, but perhaps we need to consider organizational contextualization in a culture where organizations are structured for personal, group, and monetary gain - not care, kindness, restoration, and love.
5 Comments:
Sadly, it's not just for men. I personally know of a church plant that was started by a Male Pastor and a Female Pastor (both married to other people, and she was a friend of mine). If that sounds like a recipe for disaster, it was. They had an affair, both marriages were destroyed, and the church plant eventually died. She went on to pastor as an associate at another church in another state under a senior female pastor, who later had an affair with a staff member and left her church.
Male Pastor and Female Pastor, no longer employed by their denomination or married to their spouses, eventually married each other. They are now planting a church in a large urban area.
To this day, I struggle with what should have been the church's response to their situation. I struggle most of all with my own response. Female Pastor and her (first) husband were dear people to me. Her second husband is a distant relative by marriage, and their marriage wasn't a winning move any more than was their affair. I can't even bring myself to send a Christmas card. WWJD? Hell if I know.
My first husband was/is a pastor and had a problem with pornography. My second husband is a pastor, and he just has different sins. Perhaps it's a reminder that pastors are human. The standards may be higher (and they should be), but they're still human.
By
Cuccu, at 3:37 PM
Len Hjalmarson at NextReformation.com is one of my favorite writers. He recently posted on the six issues the NAmerican church is going to have to deal with. Your story would in inform at least five of them:
1) What is the Gospel? 2) What do leadership and authority mean? 3) What is the text and context of the conversation (where have we come from and where are we now)? 4) What about Incarnation and the Community of God? 5) What about Discipleship/Spiritual Formation? 6) How do we cope with/address/function in a society of religious pluralism? (This is the one that might be more tangential.)
This is the kind of stuff that makes ordinary folks quit "church" altogether.
Dana
By
Anonymous, at 4:42 PM
I've got sort of a theory, and I'll blog it tomorrow. It's got a lot about shame and overcompensation in it, but I'll just have to sit down and write to see what comes out. Thanks for this, Jenell; the chinchilla in my head is running on its wheel.
By
Hugo, at 9:04 PM
Interesting. I've been thinking a lot this week about the evangelical view of the body and how that's affected me. Blogged a bit about it tonight, after you inspired me to start putting thoughts into writing.
I think the current Christian culture doesn't give us any helpful way to deal with our bodies and understand that spirit and flesh can both be valued.
By
Rachel, at 10:16 PM
I wonder to what degree sexual shame plays a significant role in the spiritual lives of a lot of men. I know it was a big part of my conversion.
In fact, this male Christian thought he wanted to be a pastor in part to help other people struggle against their sinful natures. I think it gave a sense of hope to those inner battles: if you can spend your life helping others, surely you can help yourself?
In other words, I wonder if the office of pastor, by its very nature, has some particular allure to people who are struggling with shame. The true freedom of the gospel is replaced with bondage to a life of penance for secret shame.
By
Anonymous, at 4:18 AM
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