Tuesday, January 24, 2006
FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:
--selling parking passes in a kiosk at this dam park
-- assembling fundraiser plastic calendars at a factory staffed by charismatic, exorcism-oriented Christians
-- salad buffet attendant at Ponderosa Steak House
-- assistant debate coach at this high school
FOUR MOVIES I'D WATCH ON REPEAT:
-- Pandemonium
-- that one with Robert Duvall
-- honestly, I just can't think of any movies at all right now
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE:
-- ER
-- American Idol
-- America's Funniest Animals
-- E! Entertainment News
FOUR CAREERS THAT APPEAL TO ME:
-- Professor
-- Writer
-- Ebay seller
-- psychoanalyst
FOUR JOBS (FILLED BY PEOPLE I KNOW) AT WHICH I WOULD BE TERRIBLE:
-- youth minister
-- president of an organization
-- the one where you have to wear nylons
-- bricklayer, drywaller, painter, or power lifter
FOUR VACATION LOCALES I'D LIKE TO HIT:
-- Mexico
-- Alaska
-- Maine
-- Liberia (maybe I'd wait on that one for a little while)
FOUR FOODS I LUST AFTER:
-- diet Coke
-- chocolate
Goodness, I'm typical.
-- citrus
-- carbonated water
FOUR CHANGES I'D MAKE TO THE HOUSE:
-- remove Laura Ashley stems-and-roses wallpaper in the room I'm in right now
-- pave the driveway
-- remove the carpet in the bathroom...ugh.
-- make it be springtime outside
FOUR BEERS I LIKE:
-- Ahem. I work here.
TAG:
-- Miss Cookie
-- Jennifer
-- My Happiest Friend
-- You
Monday, January 23, 2006
I'm meeting with BUFF (Bethel University Feminist Forum) tomorrow evening to talk about egalitarianism in my marriage. I need to blogstorm about what I might say.
Egalitarianism is not about roles, in and of themselves. It's about power and personhood. In an egalitarian marriage, the woman is a full adult person. She is responsible to take her part in making decisions of consequence, and to bear those consequences. She doesn't avoid owning her theology, her finances, and her choices - she has a partner with whom to make decisions, not a father-figure spouse who makes them for her. She has no covering - like her husband, she stands bare before God.
And it's about power. In an egalitarian marriage, power is not a zero-sum game in which sex, physical strength, and salary accrue the power. Power can be shared, and can be renewed and expanded when shared well -- even with children. The power of decision-making, of sexual pleasure and initiation, of household work, of financial success and striving...all can be divvied up and shared in various ways.
The two traditionalist ultimate scenarios are false. There are no 'ultimate' decisions in which an immediate decision must be made, so supposedly the male must break the stalemate. Any and every decision can wait for consensus or permission, though sometimes at great cost. And has Jesus ever knocked on the door of your house and asked for the man? That scenario is still hypothetical, as far as I know. To the extent that marriage becomes part of the soul, we stand before God together. And to the extent that we remain individuals, we speak with Jesus on our own.
I want to talk about some stories from our marriage...
- Spiritual leadership - how does a marriage function without it? How do we move spiritually together, despite the absence of a 'spiritual head'? And, my favorite Christian joke...if there's a spiritual head, then there must be a spiritual ass, so who is that?
- "ultimate" decision-making - deciding to move to Minnesota was a big one - how did we do that? Are we an anomaly in that, in eight years of marriage, there never has been an 'ultimate decision'? When we make decisions, we consider who has a stronger stake, who really cares, and who knows more about the situation...and then we move ahead together.
- working and finances - who works, and how much? Should I adjust my ambitions, hours, and salary so that I always earn less than my husband? Should he bear the entire psychic and physical responsibility of earning sufficient income for his family?
- Jesus knocking at the door and asking for James. Why has that never happened?
Is there more I need to add?
7 Comments:
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This looks fascinating, wish I could be there. I know you're just blogstorming, here, but I for one would like to hear more about that last bullet point sometime -maybe in its own blog entry?
Hope your presentation goes really well. Many blessings,
Jennifer -
How about egalitarianism in serving each other? Equal opportunities abound...
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I guess I should qualify that by saying my husband is much better at serving than I am...I was thinking about what I need to work on...not about what I'd like to see different from him!
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I don't know if you want to go there, but it might be worth talking about what to do with a partner who doesn't feel the same way about these things. Is there ever a time when we have to put aside a desire for egalitarianism for the sake of unity or peace? I guess it's sort of a submission question--one that both partners need to consider. Do I submit my need to be treated as an equal partner to my spouse's need for control or headship or whatever is at issue?
By
, at 3:21 PM
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Great post, jenell -- I laughed out loud at the last line.
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Great post; entertaing and informative! It seems it would also be helpful to delve into the exegetical issues (e.g. household codes in Eph. & Col.) and the cultural issues (how early Christians simultaneously challenged and maintained the patriarchy of the Greco-Roman & Jewish cultures).
I didn't get the reference to Jesus knocking on the door. It's not something I've ever heard mentioned in these discussions. -
I'm an egalitarian (well, I'm headed in that direction)not only because it's right, but also because of all the spirit-deflated/wounded patriarchalized women I've met. I could regale you with stories they (good elder's wives) tell in less guarded moments when they say things like, "Well, the pay's good," or "At least he's not home much." However, whatever one's marriage philosophy, one has to still find ways to get along with one's spouse.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Over at the Generous Orthodoxy Think Tank, I announced the book discussion of Living on the Boundaries, which will begin the week of Jan. 25. Take and read! Announcement is here.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
I've written about my appearance in several recent posts, and when I reflected on it, I first assumed I must be insecure about being postpartum. That's part of it, but I really am committed to giving myself a year to regain fitness, and to eating great quantities of whatever I want as long as I'm nursing.
When I saw that bad photo of myself in the Bethel magazine, I handed it to James and said, "Is that what I look like?" I've also compared photographs of myself from now and a few years back, to see how I've changed. I'm never quite sure what I look like anymore.
In the last 36 months I've been pregnant twice -- gained twenty pounds, lost fifteen pounds, gained a few more, lost a few, gained fifty, and then lost tens and tens of pounds. Everything has changed, from head to toe. My hair grew thicker, and then fell out by the handful (hair doesn't fall out while pregnant, and then 'catches up' right afterward). My feet were so swollen for a time, they didn't fit into my shoes. My skin has stretched, turned colors in spots, developed a rash, and become baggy in spots. Muscles in my arms and legs were average, then toned, then atrophied, and now regrowing. My face has been swollen, thin, sad, happy, young, and older. Pregnancy, nursing, and medications have altered my blood make-up, my hormones, and my brain chemistry. My body housed one person, and then four, and then one, and then three, and now just one again.
As I lifted weights today at the health club, I looked around at women's bodies. I'm amazed that we even recognize ourselves, or each other, given all the changes we experience. There's no 'getting back to normal' after childbirth. There's just a going forward into a new kind of life, with a new kind of body. Sometimes I work out with the mindset that I'm trying to get back to the woman I was four years ago - taking back from the locust what was eaten. But in every other way -- intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally -- I prefer the woman I've become to the one I used to be. Just like our minds, theologies, and spirits display both the joys and sorrows of our lives, so does the body. And that's a blessing.
6 Comments:
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Intriguing post...great metaphor of life in God...seems like there is so much more that could be said...
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It is amazing how bearing children changes the body. I've also been amazed at how much more I respect my body now, even though it's not much to look at (although it never really was, so that's no big change). I actually appreciate my body more because of what it accomplished--it made great babies, it produced food for them, and it still manages to do all the other things it needs to do. I don't hate it anymore, which has been a surprise to me.
By
, at 1:54 PM
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Kudos Jenell. I wish I could say I've arrived at such a healthy view in relation to my post-baby body, but I think that a part of me is clinging to the hope that my body will still "go back to normal" after pregnancy. I try to respect and appreciate all new body aspects, but I don't often succeed these days. But my current views are just part of the new kind of life, as you say, that my body and brain has moved into as a mother. 'Tis much better to just focus on being healthy, and accept whatever bodily forms come with that.
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Isn't it sad that, in our culture, it is an amazing thing when a woman can just say, "I don't hate my body anymore." A modest proposal for women's liberation: let's just not hate ourselves.
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"But in every other way -- intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally -- I prefer the woman I've become to the one I used to be."
Yes! me too. -
So true that there is no going back -- just wait until you stop nursing! (I wish I'd enjoyed the cleavage more while I had it). But I've decided that I now get to claim the vitality of my children's bodies as part of the equation. My body has not been fully my own for nearly five years, but I love it more.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I analyzed the cover image of the book using Hollywood standards because it is totally non-feminist to make such a critique. And it's a feminist book. And I'm a feminist. The juxtaposition between those things was the source of humor. But when you explain your joke a day after you made the joke, then it's just not a joke anymore. Sorry.
Another thing that isn't funny is a photo of me coming out in Bethel's alumni magazine this week. I look puffy and tired, like a cheeky mole poking its head out of a hole and squinting at the sunlight. I could explain the situation, and why I looked like that, but it really wouldn't help any.
2 Comments:
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I give my new glasses an "eh", or as they say in Minnesota, "They could be worse."
Along with Nicola Hoggard Creegan, I'm hosting a book club discussion over at Generous Orthodoxy Think Tank (which is what it sounds like, except for the tank). Living on the Boundaries: Evangelical Women, Feminism, and the Theological Academy is based on the authors' experiences, research, and interviews with current and former evangelical women involved with theological higher ed (seminaries, Christian colleges, being evangelical at a non-evangelical school, etc.). It's about how women live with the intersections of feminism, evangelicalism, and, well obviously, the theological academy. I think it is of importance to feminist and non-feminist evangelicals, those of us in Christian higher ed, and anyone who wonders about how to encourage and enhance women's leadership in the church. Nicola is one of the co-authors, so her participation is exciting.
I haven't actually announced it over at the Generous Orthodoxy website, nor have I planned out the discussion, and I've only read the first ten pages. But I promise it's going to happen soon.
For starters, let's consider the woman on the book cover. She has a short haircut, which I don't find to be very attractive. And she's sort of pudgy, maybe even a size 8 or 10. And she's wearing flats that don't match her outfit. And she's facing away from us, which means she might not even care whether or not we think she's attractive.
This is going to be a very, very good book discussion. I can just tell.
4 Comments:
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The frames are terrific, Jenell -- from the photo, a subtle rose-pink that works really well.
And damn, another book I have to buy. -
Kudos on the glasses!
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Call Me Ishmael, at 6:53 AM
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I would love to discuss this book. It looks very interesting.
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Ahh, Jenell, surely you jest . . . women
wearing size 8 or 10 are PUDGY?????
Tell me you were tongue-in-cheek.
Can't wait to read the book!
SnoregonianBy
, at 10:12 PM
Monday, January 09, 2006
I listened to an NPR show about the discovery/creation of "Type A" personality. A cardiologists' office was having its waiting room chairs reupholstered monthly -- monthly!. The upholsterer asked the cardiologist about the wear on the chair. Chairs were worn on the front edges of seats, and the front edges of armrests. Patients were literally sitting on the edges of their seats, picking or tapping with their fingers. As the legend goes, this alerted the cardiologist to the personality and lifestyle components of stress-related heart problems, and of course, the upholsterer got no credit for his contribution to the idea of "Type A."
What does the wear of your possessions say about you?
My clothing is developing a strong pattern of use. Dried boogers on my right knee (pick babie's nose, wipe on pants), and dried spit-up on my left shoulder. If I'm going to leave the house to go somewhere sans bebes, I change my clothes minutes before leaving so as to avoid these deposits.
1 Comments:
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The knees of my jeans are wearing thin (at a much quicker rate than usual) due to being down on the floor so frequently with my babe. Luckily, mine doesn't spit up much, so I have no shoulder stains. But my bedsheets say, "we have had breastmilk leaked on us so much that we are going to wear stains to show our anguish."
Friday, January 06, 2006
Posting about books I read makes me feel a bit of pressure to read faster! I'm not reading anything at the moment, other than the recipe for coconut cream pie which I plan to make today. The books I posted were at the bottom of my last pile of books, and I haven't restocked. If I continue feeling self-generated pressure to read, then I'll have to stop posting about it. I want to post books so I can remember good quotes, and so I can do a content analysis on the list at 100 and see what I'm interested in.
Instead of reading, I need to spend some time sewing blankets. In lieu of Christmas presents for my triplets, I made micropreemie clothing to give to parents of stillborn or soon-to-die babies through Missing Grace (I link to Missing Grace occasionally in case someone has money or goods to donate). To honor her grandsons, my mom also decided to make blankets - in addition to the micropreemie gifts, they use handmade blankets and other gifts to make sympathy gift baskets for parents. Well, she went overboard and gave me a stack of blankets to work on ... about twenty of them. They're just small infant blankets made of fleece, and I'm putting a blanket stitch hem on them. But doing twenty of them is more than I want to do - it just gets boring.
Am I a horrible person for putting limits on my generosity because I get bored? Or am I very, very good person for sharing an opportunity to serve?
Do you want to hem some fleece blankets...just a few, or one, or ten? Any kind of hem is good, but not the cut-and-tie deal.
Honestly, even if you live somewhere else, I'll mail you a few and give postage to mail them back! I'm going to try to post a picture of them if time allows right now.
6 Comments:
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Mmm. Is the coconut cream pie for tonight's dinner? :)
If you bring some of the blankets tonight, I'll hem them. You might have to remind me how to do the blanket stitch, though; it's been years since I've done much sewing. -
Great! And yes, the pie is for tonight - it's a cream pie kind of day.
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I know you're really talking about other things here, but...so glad to hear about the coconut cream pie!
While other people go on a diet at this time of year, I go the other way. As a way of mourning the loss of the ubiquitious Christmas cookies that are no longer lying around on every flat surface everywhere I've gone for the last month, I do more baking now than at any other time of the year. All of which is a long way of saying, I'm glad I'm not the only one... -
I recovered my baby's carseat in vintage chenille - MANY people have said, "That is so cute! You could SELL those." I always think, "Even if I could sell them I wouldn't want to - I would die of boredom." I love crafts but never want to do too much of the same thing for too long.
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I feel the same way about my crafts - even if they could sell, that would mean I'd have to make lots of them.
And juniper68, the coconut cream pie was lovely, as reported by those who liked it. I don't like it, so I made a second one with banana cream for myself and whoever else wanted some.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
I went shopping at the Albertville Outlet Mall and bought an unusual quantity of stuff, including baby socks, frying pan, cutting board, Subway sandwich, egg poacher, and peppermint headache cream. The best thing of all, however, was pants. Bass outlet, $41.99 full price on sale for $19.99.
I have pants problems that are significant enough to subject to therapeutic scrutiny. I used up my therapy time instead to figure out, to no avail, why turtlenecks make me gag. My pants problem is that pants simply aren't comfortable. Even in high school I wore skirts and elastic-waisted pants because I can't handle tightness around my waist. I didn't put Ollie and Wesley in pants until 5 months b/c I feared the tightness of waistbands would harm them.
The Bass outlet pants (dark grey, stretchy dress-up cotton) have emerged champions on my pants hierarchy. A glance at my closet reveals, in ascending order:
- bottom of the barrel pants. I love my polka-dotted pajama pants, but they are 3 inch highwaters and more or less see-through. Wear only when home alone.
- wear-at-home pajama pants. Four pairs that I wear while James is in the house. Turquoise, turquoise, cream, and pink.
- borderline sweatpants. These two pairs can be worn at home or out, but only if I'm only going to see strangers while I'm out. They are a bit short, and make me look hippy. The childcare workers at the health club see me so much that they are starting to become not strangers, which is forcing a choice abotu these pants.
- good sweatpants. Two pairs (grey and black) that can be worn to family events, small group, and church. Even for a photo at Target portrait studio.
- going outside the house jeans. For a significant event, or just an occasion on which I want to show off how much baby weight I've lost (please don't notice that my sweaters are baggy and hang down several inches past my waist - not showing off those body parts yet). I've only worn them three times, including our family Christmas picture, and choose my occasions sparingly. Don't want to wear them out.
- Public Speaking Pants. The Bass outlet pants have earned this title and the capital letters. If you see me public speaking in the coming months, I'll be wearing these pants. If I lose too much weight and they no longer fit, I'll gain it back just so I don't have to go shopping again.
1 Comments:
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Friday's snow has lasted through today. It was incredibly heavy snow - the temperature has been hovering around freezing, making it just cold enough to keep the snow in the form of snow, but a few degrees warmer and it would be water. It's the perfect kind of snow for kids - very wet and ballable. It's tough for adults, however, as shoveling the driveway was basically like lifting shovelfuls of water. Once the work was done, however, it's been warm enough to take walks and enjoy the beauty. The snow was so much, and so sticky, and such the perfect temperature. There are two inches of wet snow weighting down small branches, five inches piled on top of mailbox posts, blankets making evergreens look like sloppily iced cookies.
This kind of snow comes only occasionally, and because of the date, I take it as an auspicious beginning to the New Year.
3 Comments:
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I keep feeling surprised at the whiteness of this past snow. Is it possible that some snow is whiter than others?
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joeprehiem7622, at 5:14 AM
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I agree, but now it's slushy and dirty.
2 Comments:
i'm blogless, so can i play in your comments?? feel free to delete if too lengthy.
FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:
--teaching english as a foreign language to asian women and their children in their homes
--working at various retail establishments (laura ashley, godiva--the thought of both makes me laugh now)
--produce girl at farmer's market (this summer!)
--web consultant for people who end up not really taking your advice (which was brilliant, of course)
FOUR MOVIES I'D WATCH ON REPEAT:
-- moulin rouge
-- chocolat
-- i heart huckabees
--something silly like bruce almighty or something's gotta give
--i have to add one more--you can count on me
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE:
we have no tv but this is what we end up watching on the internet or trying to go to other people's houses to watch
--jon stewart
--kim possible (if you have to watch kid tv)
--this week
--meet the press
FOUR CAREERS THAT APPEAL TO ME:
--radio essayist/journalist a la this american life
--artist/craftsperson under the tents at the flea market on capitol hill
--writer/illustrator
--online entrepreneur
FOUR JOBS (FILLED BY PEOPLE I KNOW) AT WHICH I WOULD BE TERRIBLE:
-- librarian
-- computer programmer (as if this would be possible)
-- housekeeper
-- anything requiring paperwork or organization of the "that goes in this pile" variety
FOUR VACATION LOCALES I'D LIKE TO HIT:
-- South Africa (next spring???)
-- Paris
-- New York (i must return many times for mental health!)
-- Hawaii
FOUR FOODS I LUST AFTER:
-- dark chocolate
-- mark west pinot noir (is wine a food?)
-- anything very lemon-y
-- john macy sourdough cheese straws
FOUR CHANGES I'D MAKE TO THE HOUSE:
-- title in my name
-- make studio over garage real workspace for art
-- heat/ac on the third floor
-- turn the yard into a magical secret garden
FOUR BEERS I LIKE:
-- corona (silly girl beer i know)
-- bass pale ale
-- guiness (in dark irish pubs with ira rooms preferably)
-- anything that has not been made in someone's basement
By
jen lemen, at 8:04 AM
I am considering what many in this part of the world would consider the unfathomable. I am looking for constructive comments, ideas, advice or any other form of input you can think of to help me sort this quandary out. Please E-Mail me your thoughts, if at all possible, as I would like to take the time and really evaluate any input you may have ( hint, if you don’t have my E-Mail I’m listed on www.mysolomonsporch.com ). I am toying with the idea of living out of my vehicle. Now I’ll try to explain how I got to this point of view, as you may now understandably think I’ve collectively lost my mind. First off let me tell you that in the warmer months I almost live out of my truck to some degree as it is. When it’s comfortable to do so I will often spend the night in my vehicle in the cities as it’s simply more efficient and economical (I’m generally utilitarian in nature by default) then driving back and forth when I work late and get tired or need to be in the cities early the next day (I hate early morning meetings, never mind bad traffic). Scott http://slimcontact.blogspot.com/ earlier this week was talking about famous people http://www.carliving.com/intro_celebs.html that lived out of their car to springboard ahead in life. Flash forward to Sunday night and due to Rachel’s http://www.patronsaintofulster.blogspot.com/ near death experience I explain that I share some of her concerns and explain why I am private about my place of residence. In later discussions that same night Sarah http://www.sarahsampedro.com/ said something to the effect of she thought I lived out of my car. Later that night a few of us were talking about alarm clocks and I mentioned that I liked to keep mine on the other side of the room so that I would have to get up and walk across the room to shut it off. Luke http://generalben.blogspot.com/ said that he couldn’t envision me staying in my house and that he always pictured me in my truck. I try to live very simply so that it exponentially allows me to help others with what resources I have at my disposal. I anticipate that I will have more time, money and resources in general available to me if I make this move as this will greatly reduce my overhead (which I try to keep low as it is). I figure now is the time to do this if there was ever a time as I am currently single and it would allow me to save to buy a house or do something more philanthropic than I may otherwise be able to do. Oddly about my only concern in making this move is that it may affect my chances at developing a solid relationship or attracting for that matter a respectable girlfriend as someday I would like to have a family God willing. However I have always been of the mentality that if someone were to truly love me for me they should meet me at my worst. If someone were to meet me at my worst they would be amazed at how well I clean up and what I am able to provide. I intentionally am rather street and ragged (which is only one aspect of me but generally the least accepted) in the presence of most non-corporate settings almost as an ongoing social experiment if you will. I use this litmus test to see who is really a true friend that invests time to get to really know and except me thereby filtering out friends of convenience or with ulterior motives and most superficial people by design. Well if you don’t know me and have read this far congratulations, you know a bit about me now. Well here comes the real part, decision time for me. Please help me by sending me E-Mail any with thoughts, comments, concerns, etc. Thank you in advance for any help you may be able to offer in this matter.
Peace & Love, Erik =)
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