Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Yesterday was the first time I've thought about Mr. Kinney since 1987, when I memorized his pants in 8th grade English. Mr. Kinney was shaped like Humpty Dumpty - small feet, small head, and a large in-between. Thinning white and blonde curls were scattered across his head, remnants of what must have been a magnificent white afro. His face was fat, but more flappy than squeezy. His pants looked like a funnel with two spouts. He pulled the waistband up over his navel, tugging twice for emphasis. Soon thereafter, the waistband would fold over on itself and disappear into the most accessible underbelly fold. Another double-pull. Another fold-over. This happened about every 90 seconds for the entire class period. We'd watch at least twenty or thirty waistband procedures every single class - the kind of habitual public speaker behavior you might tally during a boring address.
I thought of Mr. Kinney yesterday because I found myself wearing his pants. The waistband slipped down every minute or two into a place I can't see no matter how far I bend forward. I now understand the tugging - it really is the only option. Like his, my waistline has somehow both disappeared and become alarmingly visible.
I'm wearing maternity overalls for the first time today. I may call North View Junior High and see if Mr. Kinney is still there. I've tried his pants on for size; maybe he'd enjoy my overalls.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
is single use appliances. Mostly, I'd like ones that cost at least $50 and have at least eight parts that must be disassembled and cleaned after every use. Here's a list for when you go shopping for me:
home beverage fountain
melted chocolate fountain
s'more maker
rotisserie
breadmaker
pasta tube cooker
food slicer
meat grinder
quesadilla maker
tortilla maker
pizza stone
rotating pizza cooker
soft serve ice cream maker
pretzel pan
food chopper
beef jerkey maker
food dehydrator
If you're cheap or indebted, I also like single use kitchen gadgets, like the mango slicer, egg slicer, cheese slicer, cherry pitter, egg yolk separator, and the like.
Just don't give me a knife, because I don't really know how to use one. Or a pot - I can't cook.
P.S. I made Chris' sweet potatoes for Thankgiving and they were very, very good!
8 Comments:
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I love my pizza stone! But I use it for all sorts of things - cookies, eggrolls, biscuits, etc. Much better than a cookie sheet!
When Morgan & I combined our kitchen stuff, we ended up with 4 or 5 melon ballers. Need one of those?
Oh - and I'll give you my hard-boiled egg slicer. I haven't used it once in the almost 10 years I've had it. :) -
Rachel,
Perhaps I failed to clearly convey the tone of this post. It was something in the realm of satire, irony, or sarcasm - not sure precisely which, but I'm sure Carla will show up here and clarify sooner or later, or else you will!
As for melon ballers, sadly, I have two.
As for the mystery of how to divide a hard-boiled egg into smaller parts, I have found that a knife works surprisingly well.
As for the mango cutter, I must admit I'm intrigued. -
Yup - I'm constantly tempted to throw out every appliance in my kitchen except a couple of good knives, some cutting boards, my stick blender and a hand electric beater. Then I might be able to actually put the things we really need into cupboards, rather then finding that they live on the counter tops while the cupboards are stuffed with dusty appliances.
I'm so glad you tried and liked the sweet potato recipe!!! It's a favorite at our house.By
, at 11:02 PM
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Eh, I knew you didn't really want all that stuff. ;-) Heck, I don't want most of the things we have in our kitchen, either. (Tell me again why we need *4* blenders? Or is it 5? sigh.) But I did have to defend the helpless pizza stone, since I didn't think it deserved to be lumped in there with all the other appliances. :)
We started paring down our cabinet contents this weekend & pulled out about 30 cookbooks we don't want. Next up is the gadget/utensil drawer, which has gotten so full that the silverware no longer fits in it. :( -
1) sarcasm
2) my brother LOVES these things and always give us one for Christmas. We usually return them, but we did keep the Pizza Pizzaz! (aka the rotating pizza cooker) because it is actually quite useful for a family that throws on a frozen pizza at least once a week.
3) I hate to admit this, but I want a Magic Bullet.
4) Rachel, I need a blender and would be happy to take on off your hands.By
, at 11:34 AM
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1) gives
5) oneBy
, at 11:35 AM
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1) 4)
By
, at 7:03 PM
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Ok, time to chime in cause i'm the queen of kitchen gadgets (though i use them).
1- rotisserie (wouldn't have bought it, except it was $5 at Goodwill and that's the price of one rotisserie chicken, of which i've made many as well as other rotisseried meats,yummy)
2- breakmaker (i confess, i don't use it much cause i like baking the old fashioned way),
3-food chopper (like processor? i use mine all the time, but that quick chop thing - it went in the savers donation bin)
4-dehydrator (best little gadget ever. i make sweet snacks now that i'm off the sugar for good out of ripe and overripe fruits. i want to make jerky next- it does both).
Carla- the magic bullet, well it's cool until the little spinny plastic thing that meshes up with the bottom of the blade covers for your cups breaks off and your $60 blender turns into a hunk of junk. just ask my roommates. we need to buy a new one cause we really did use it more than once daily in warmer months.By
, at 1:03 AM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
10. I'm not sure whether this counts as practicing the presence of God, but I pray short prayers all the time in the flow of everyday life. Like when I thought Wesley ate the highlighter tip, I prayed on my way to the phone to call the Poison Center. (He didn't eat it, and highlighters aren't deadly).
9. I say "I love you" at least fifty times a day, which seems sacred to me.
8. I read prayers and Scriptures to my students at the beginning of class, and take them to heart myself more than I used to. (The low point of my teacher devotions was after my triplets died, I read the passage where Jesus allows the Samaritan woman to call herself a dog - in my ethnic relations class - and then said, 'I have no idea why stuff like this is in the Bible', and moved on.)
7. My whole family listens to southern gospel, and sometimes Al Green's gospel CD. Those of us who sing, sing, and those of us who can do the squat-dance do that.
6. Scripture reading is usually a critical community reading of the Toddler Bible. "Oliver, why is Moses' face white in that illustration? How much more accomodation does a white boy need to this patriarchal, white-privilege religion?" "Wesley, do you believe the point of every bible story is obedience? Mommy doesn't."
5. Mindfulness practice consists of watching the boys with absolute focus at least once a day, for a few minutes. I used to do it to Ruby, and called it 'interspecies mindfulness.'
4. At the health club, I sit on the edge of the hot tub with my legs in (can't put Phetus in the hot tub) and breathe deeply ten times. This is my major practice of centering, and it's wonderful.
3. I worship to Gaither songs played on the show called "Gaither Gospel Hour" which is really snippets of songs interspersed with advertising. The boys like the Gaithers, too.
2. Taking the babies to church last week yielded exactly four minutes of time alone on the couch, during which was lectio divina. The only thing God said to me was, "Go check on your boys," which I did, and as turned out, they did need me, so it was God, so there.
1. Morning breaks each day with the sound of me vomiting, which usually prompts a baby to cry, too. No quiet time here, though the vomiting prompts me to thank God that my baby is still alive. (Could I publish a Christian book, "Praise God Even While Puking" - I'm such a Proverbs 31 woman!)
4 Comments:
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jenell, my first independent study for school is on spiritual disciplines of the past, present, and future. i'll be sure to incorporate at least the hot tub, *kpg*
By
, at 9:28 AM
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Those are the best "working" spiritual disciplines I've read. I think just reading them counts as some sort of discipline (holy laughter?).
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Oh I LOVE this post. This is the kind of spiritual discipline I can master without having to feel a load of that good ol' fashioned Christian guilt!
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I cannot think of a better version of the liturgy of the hours than this. I am inspired.
By
, at 8:38 PM
Monday, November 20, 2006
Does anyone have a copy of Rob Bell's god sex that I can borrow? Anyone have an in at Zondervan - I'll review it here.
It looks interesting - no reviews that I can find so far, tho. I just finished Real Sex (Lauren Winner), but am not sure what, if anything, Real Sex and god sex have in common. I'm also not sure whether the sex with which I'm familiar has a capital S or not.
6 Comments:
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It's actually "SexGod", not "GodSex". I don't know anyone at Zondervan, but sometimes ARC's sell on ebay before books come out.
By
, at 3:24 PM
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Hi
I'm from Zondervan - it isn;t out until march I'm afraid - but it looks good!By
, at 4:39 AM
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Well, that accounts for the absence of reviews! I thought I saw a 2006 release date, but I'm sure I'm mistaken.
I'll have to reflect on Real Sex until then. -
I liked Lauren Winner, even as I disagreed with most of her conclusions. Her self-indulgent, "I sinned so you don't have to" was deliciously familiar to me.
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Check this out: Sex God
By
, at 3:26 PM
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OK! I'm a loser for not reading the release date more carefully. I'm interested to see whether or not he'll talk about same-sex issues - Lauren Winner managed to avoid it altogether, to her book's detriment in my humble opinion.
I see from Zondervan's website that the book will weigh one pound.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
All I need for Thanksgiving is salty carbs and just enough protein to prevent diabetic shock from the carbs. Sweets - I can take them or leave them. I love Thanksgiving food.
Meat: Turkey, roasted by my mother.
Salty carbs: potatoes mashed in the KitchenAid, stuffing (with the recent addition of raisins in a small portion for Mr. Paris who married into the Williams family, none of whom fawn over raisins), bread and butter, pickles.
Drinks: who cares, seeing as we can't drink alcohol due to my employment and the threat of hellfire that hangs over everyone else.
Vegetables: the principle is that vegetables should be baked long enough so that, if need be, you could suck them through a straw.
1. Baked broccoli with croutons on top.
2. Cream corn with saltines crumbled in, baked for a ridiculous length of time.
3. Salad, made of orange jello and sherbert and mandarin oranges. Trust me, it counts as a salad, and it will be the only salad.
4. Carrots baked in a casserole with bacon and sweet sauce.
5. Sweet potatoes made sweeter with pineapple, apples, sugar, or marshmallow.
Pie: made by me and James, pumpkin from the Libby's recipe on the can, apple from the old Betty Crocker cookbook. I'm going to compare Libby's to the one in the comments and see what I think.
We're a very healthy family - if you count the pumpkin pie, that makes SIX vegetables in one meal! In response to your comments, which were very helpful... I am going to try Tonya's crockpot sweet potatoes and marshmallows...but I just saw Chris' recipe, and that looks great, too. Now I'm not sure. Normally I don't like marshmallows (and I drink hot chocolate about once every four years), but while pregnant, I want them on my sweet potatoes. I would also like to refer to sweet potatoes as yams, which is the correct ingredient for the dish. And yes, I'll make them from real yams - those syrupy canned plops are not my favorite. The steamed green beans will be the only thing with any crunch or resemblance to its God-given state, and will confirm what my family has said before - the Paris' eat undercooked vegetables. Roasting vegetables, or eating asparagus for Thanksgiving, are perhaps things that East Coast Liberals or Members of Colonial Church of Edina do, but we are unfamiliar with those sorts of practices. We're just working-class fundamentalists from Robbinsdale.
10 Comments:
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The small-town lutheran who married into our generically-protestant suburban family may be foisting brussel sprouts onto us at Thanksgiving. I'll give a free report.
Before then, could you clarify: the raisins are the stuffing? Oh James, you and your new york ways!
*kpg*By
, at 12:36 PM
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I meant that James gets a portion of stuffing to which raisins are added. Sorry for the poor grammar.
And yes, you certainly did marry yourself a Vegetable Steaming, Roasting, and Possibly Braising Man. Not that there's anything wrong with that. -
for all the ways in which they ruin Thanksgiving, the southern family into which I have been lightly grafted does the following very well:
1) Corn Puddin' (no g)
2) Strawberry salad (made with jello, whipped cream, pretzels and possibly cream cheese). I leave a lot of room on the plate for this.
3) Sweet Potato Casserole with a three-inch layer of brown-sugary, crunchy goodness on top
4) Chocolate Pie (God bless Ain't Dahl)
The above make up for the dry, possibly toxic turkey, the dry stuffing, the burnt rolls, and the "vegetables" cooked with a stick of butter and some sugar, and boiled down to liquid form. I never thought about using a straw, though, so maybe if I think of them as a smoothie, it will help. Thanks Jenell!By
, at 10:09 AM
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My sister makes that jello stuff with pretzels. I don't understand jello's place at a meal. I can eat it as dessert, but I just don't want that much sugar in the middle of my meal, and when it's served as a 'salad', there's always something even more sugary for dessert. Jell-o, I've been praying about it, and God told me we need some time apart. It's nothing personal.
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Jenell,
for as much hospital time you have logged, I can totally understand your aversion to Jello.
As a west-coaster, jello will never be called salad by me. ever.
CWBy
, at 11:38 AM
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Didn't we have a discussion on this blog last year about jello being called salad? There will nothing even close to jello on my Thanksgiving table, but there will be roasted brussel sprouts!
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I love Thanksgiving food too. I want the recipe for the carrots with bacon and sweet sauce!
My west coast family serves jello (strawberry, either with banana slices or layered with sour cream and frozen berries) as a salad right alongside the lettuce version. Both are considered mandatory for any large family gathering, not just Thanksgiving.
My east coast in-laws introduced me to a much better version of Shoofly Pie. My aunt's version had raisins in it, :( but my aunt-in-law's is all molasses. I will skip all the other versions of pie at their house, since store-bought piecrust is not worth the calories to me.
Last question: is it your paid employment that prohibits alcohol or just the gestational employment? I understand the general threat of hellfire. -
Hi! I was surfing the internet for some sweet potato recipes and found your site. Quite humorous.
I get anal sometimes, and after a few glasses of wine... well I have to correct you on your sweet potato/yam comment.
There are, actually, very few yams produced in the U.S. There are 2 varieties of sweet potatos grown here. One has a yellow color and a more starchy texture to it. The other variety is the darker orange color with a moist texture and much sweeter taste to it (that is typically used in sweet potato and/or yam recipes).
When the latter was introduced to the U.S., they wanted to differentiate themselves from the lighter colored, more starchy sweet potato market and so used the name yam (not to be confused with a true Yam).
Interesting enough, the USDA requires that the words/term "sweet potato" be used wherever "yam" is used.
Hopefully I have given some entertainment for your reading pleasure. If not, maybe I've given you some laughter at your Thanksgiving table this year.
Have a great T-Day!By
, at 12:00 AM
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Robin, I work at a private liberal arts religious college, many of which forbid drinking and smoking for everyone -students and employees alike. Strange, but true.
Anonymous, thank you. That is going to help my cooking year-round. I sometimes buy 'yams' because I'm so sure they are what I want when I want 'sweet potatoes', but sometimes I buy the thing labeled 'sweet potato' which is a bright yellow, extremely starchy potato.
My grocery store has huge bins of 'yams', labeled 'yams', in the middle of the aisle, whereas there are just 10-12 'sweet potatoes' over with the white potatoes.
What a good thing to learn. Made my day. -
Whoops! That explains why my sweet potatoes were not as good as the last time I made them a few weeks ago for our meal at church.
Last time I used the ORANGE sweet potatoes, this time I used the YELLOW...blah. Bad. Such a bummer.
Note to self: ONLY ORANGE!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Our Thanksgiving responsibilities include rolls, pies, sweet potatoes, and a green vegetable. Questions for you -
1. What's the best way to make sweet potatoes with marshmallows?
2. Green veg - I'm thinking steamed green beans with butter and toasted almonds. Any better ideas? Durkee Fried Onions are unwelcome.
I think we're good on the rolls and pie.
8 Comments:
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1. IMHO, marshmallows and sweet potatoes don't mix. Make sweet potato oven fries instead (with a sprinkle of curry powder and coarse salt) and put the marshmallows in hot chocolate. Yum.
2. I don't think you'll get a better green vegetable that most people will like for about the same amount of work. However, another option is to quarter a zucchini lengthwise and slice it thinly, then stir fry it with a little oregano just until it turns bright green and then stir in an equal amount of tomato salsa and remove from the heat. I personally like lightly steamed brussel sprouts wrapped with half a slice of bacon and broiled until the bacon is done.
3. I know you said you're good on the pie, but here is my favorite recipe for pumpkin pie, just in case anyone else is looking for one. -
Here's my new favorite sweet potato recipe, although no marshmallows are present: Peel, slice, and boil some swwet potatos (or just buy the canned yams -- no one will know the difference!). Mash with a little milk, butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon, ginger, and cloves to taste. Cut a Granny Smith apple into bite size pieces; add the apple, some raisins, and pecans and mix well. Yummy!
By
Maria Kenney, at 12:52 AM
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Though it's tons of work I say go with the real sweet potatoes. I use the recipe in the always present Joy of Cooking. Works like a charm.
By
, at 10:03 AM
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2. We are big fans of roasting vegetables around here -- especially green beans and asparagus. For either, cut into desired lengths, toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and a bit of garlic, then roast on a baking sheet lined with tin foil for appx 20 minutes at 375.
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Here's my CROCK POT plan for Thursday...so easy, so good.
CoconutPecan Sweet Potatoes
2 pounds sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1" pieces
1/4 c brown sugar
2 tblsp sweetened coconut
2 tblsp chopped pecans, toasted
1 tblsp butter, melted
1 tsp cinnamon
Cooking spray
1/2 c mini marshmallows
Coat 3 1/2 QT slow cooker with cooking spray.
Add first 7 ingredients, toss.
Cook on low heat setting 6-8 hours until potatoes are tender.
Turn cooker off. Sprinkle marshmallows, let stand 5 min.
Yield 7 1/2c servings! -
1. For the sweet potatoes, if you really want marshmallows, I'd say put the mashed potatoes (w/ orange juice, cinnamon, cloves, maybe some nutmeg or cardamom) in a casserole dish & then top with marshmallow creme. You can spread it evenly & make nice little peaks that will brown under the broiler. Plus, it's gelatin free, so I can eat your leftovers. :)
2a. Lightly-steamed green beans with butter and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.
2b. Roasted asparagus. -
My traditional recipe isn't sweet, it's savory, and you can make it the day ahead; tastes better made ahead too.
Sweet Potato Salad
Bake your sweet potatoes and let them cool, (or drain if canned, but get them packed in water) then mash them with a fork. Mix in equal parts mayo and plain yogurt with 1/2 to 1 tsp of prepared mustard. Add one large stalk of celery finely diced and one bunch of green onions finely chopped; add salt, black pepper and paprika to taste. Gently fold in a couple of hard boiled eggs and some sliced black olives. Garnish with sliced hard boiled eggs and more black olives, sliced or whole. Chill and serve.
The addition of the yogurt is my fat-reducinging adaptation; the original recipe came from Lydia's Italian restaurant in Butte Montana, now long defunct but in its heyday the best for homestyle food.
The one vegetable all my family will eat is microwaved fresh spinach with from-scratch cheddar sauce.
Dana AmesBy
, at 9:15 PM
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The sweet potato recipe that I've been making for years and getting raves about, we call "Fluffy Sweet Potatoes". It tastes lightly-sweet, but there's no added sugar except the marshmallows on top.
Bake or boil the sweet potatoes, peel and mash (I have a large casserole dish and can use as many as 4 or 5 good sized sweet potatoes. Fresh are better but canned works). Add a couple of tablespoons of melted butter, and a little cream or milk (I use rice milk for my milk-intolerant family members). You want a nice moist and fluffy mixture, but not too soupy. I used to add egg yolks as well (like for a souffle), but have found they're not really necessary for the texture or flavor. Add seasoning as you enjoy - some cinnamon, maybe a little cloves and/or nutmeg.
Now comes the secret weapon - whip up a bunch of egg whites, until stiff (but not completely dry). I used to whip 3 or 4, I've moved up to 6 in the last few years for my large dish. Fold the egg whites into the mashed sweet potato mixture, then spread into large, lightly greased casserole dish. Bake at 350 for about 35 to 45 minutes (until set). Spread marshmallows over the top and bake until melted and just beginning to brown.
This is a very kid- and adult-friendly recipe, it always works! It's also very forgiving, I probably make it a little bit different every time and we've never been disappointed (expect when I broiled the marshmallows and burned them off - my kids didn't like that!).By
, at 12:50 AM
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Another angle on the Ted Haggard and related situations lies right there before us in the word 'scandal', as in 'sex scandal' or 'sex and drug scandal.' In order to have a scandal, someone must be scandalized -- holding hand over open mouth, averting gaze while stealing repeated furtive glances. 'Scandal' makes the observers central to the case, not the victims.
One reason why the church sees so many sex scandals is because no one was scandalized by the abuses of power that preceded the sex. In one non-pastoral parachurch case, I know that a woman made a strong case of sexual harrassment against a co-worker who was known by others to be a harrasser, but nothing was done until his acts became physical (adulterous sex with a very young woman of lower standing within the organization). In another situation, numerous complaints were made to superiors, but again, nothing was done until bodies touched. In another situation...well, the same thing happened there, too. And in a few other situations, I've seen persons in power allowed to stay there because their abusive behavior is limited to the emotional and verbal realms.
We need to make abuse of the vulnerable central, not our feelings of being scandalized. When a pastor manipulates information to maintain power, sets staff or church members against each other in order to protect secrets, bullies, lies, or evades accountability, there is a huge problem. I bet that in many sex scandals, there were many, many instances of abusive behavior that preceded the sex. Christians just allow many non-sexual and non-financial sins to go unnoticed, and then jump all over the sexual ones (and the financial ones and the drug ones). Wrong behavior is wrong behavior, and we need to address it even if our repulsion meter isn't in the red zone.
It's a heresy - some kind of inverted gnosticism that accompanies our ordinary gnosticism. In so many ways, Christians elevate the spiritual over the physical, saying it is the invisible spiritual things that really matter, both in this life and eternally. Yet when it comes to vulnerable people being harmed, we allow spiritual and emotional harm to continue, and don't intervene until it becomes _real_, which is to say physical.
8 Comments:
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You're right, if it is sin, call it sin, and deal with it as sin.
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The Baird school
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Scent of a Woman. For some reason, that seems ironic to me.
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Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely (or so they say). You can learn a lot about someone's character by how they treat the little things, like whether they take on privileges the rest of us don't get or how they talk to the janitor. I agree with Jenell, the warning signs were probably there all along.
By
, at 10:09 PM
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I looked up "scandal" and was suprised to see it was a verb, besides being the trusted noun-friend that I know. According to old Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913):
"To treat opprobriously; to defame; to asperse; to traduce; to slander" with an example from Shakespeare: "I do fawn on men and hug them hard And after scandal them."
Jenell, I could not agree with you more about preceding events to sexual abuse or scandal.
There are ALWAYS preceding hints, signs, and stages. But one must know what these are (and many of these are incredibly obvious! most claims of innocent ignorance are in reality wilfull choices of blindness) and, more importantly, one must CARE.
I am not sure that (at least until bodies start touching) the members of many church bodies really want to go there, to do the hard work of changing awareness, behavior, authority structures. But that is exactly what is required in order to reduce significantly the chances and the severity of abuse. -
"Wrong behavior is wrong behavior, and we need to address it even if our repulsion meter isn't in the red zone."
I love that statement. It sounds much better than "The church doesn't care about bad behavior until weiners are involved."
cwBy
, at 11:20 AM
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Yet both are true, cw.
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So, there are times when scripture seems to describe the situation entirely. I am not talking about one line of scripture, I am talking about the narative whole of the story being told.
This isn't a wonderful narrative reflection - such as the beatitudes being applied to the life of Coretta Scott King - but it is a reflection that I think we should all consider.
The story being told below is one that may in many ways tell the story of Ted Haggard, not just one line, but the whole narrative:
But God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.
So God said, in effect, "If that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!
Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either—women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.
Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!
From Romans Chapter 1.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Isaiah 49:13-3
God has comforted Israel, but Israel protests. "The Lord has forsaken me, my God has forgotten me." Perhaps their losses were very great, and they weren't able to be comforted.
God says, "Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb?" Based on my experience, I'd say no! The biting alone created unforgettable memories. Obviously most women don't fail in compassion for their children, but some do. God is even more faithful than this ultimate act of fidelity, when a person brings forth life and then sustains it with her own body -- my milk, spilled for you; my breasts, permanently worn out for you.
God insists that God has not forgotten them, and that in fact abundance is right around the corner. Their population will grow again, and they'll be even crowded in their land. "The children born in the time of your bereavement will yet say in your hearing," it's too crowded here! Then you will say, "Who has borne me these? I was bereaved and barren, exiled and put away - so who has reared these? I was left all alone - where then have these come from?"
I think thoughts like this daily, when I look at Oliver and Wesley, and pat the baby inside me. Where did these come from? I was depressed and lost and barren, so how did this all happen? God's abundance sneaks up on me, even while I grieve. And I've no doubt that the children will grow and complain that the house is too crowded.
God promises even more. The nations will bring Israel's sons and daughters back, and foreign kings will become foster fathers, and their queens nursing mothers. What an image of victory -- the restoration of happy, well-fed families.
When our families are whole again, when our sons and daughters are returned to us, when our houses and our land are so full of people we feel crowded..."Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame." The days filled with grief and exile and not-trying were not empty days - they were full with waiting, and they were not for nothing.
Others may prefer the end of the chapter, in which God makes the bad guys eat their own flesh and drink their own blood. I resonate more with the image of shalom as nursing babies and their mothers, lost children coming back, active fathers, and birth in the midst of barrenness. Both passages I've looked at so far have included feminine (family, female body) and masculine (war, male body) images side by side. A little something for everyone?
5 Comments:
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I SO wish I could take your class. Thanks for your thoughts.
By
, at 5:33 PM
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"God's abundance sneaks up on me, even while I grieve." I think of coming home from the hospital and feeling such loss and pain that my daughter has had to endure so much aloneness and so much hospital, only to watch her become the smilingest person in our house. It was as if Alicia were laughing at me, "Mama, why are you grieving? I'm right here, kicking you!"
By
Michelle Fuller, at 8:58 PM
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Today's psalm for evening prayer had this verse that also struck me as a wonderful feminine image:
"But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." (Psalm 131:2) Perhaps the stillness comes after the breastfeeding????
JasperBy
, at 10:03 PM
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Thank you for the change of perspective. Taking care of chronically ill children gets me "now and us" focused and I needed the different view.
By
, at 11:11 AM
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Jasper, I thought about blogging about that one, too. Breastfeeding babies root
and try to suck whenever you hold them close to your body, whereas weaning ones
can supposedly be calm. I think that's the idea of that verse, which is one I
appreciated until just recently.
When my babies weaned, however, they just developed strong agendas of their own,
and unless exhausted or hurt, didn't want to be still with me. Based on my
current daily experience, I picture a weaned child more like a tornado than like a still soul.
If I could write that verse, I'd say "like a sleeping child in its crib while its mother is getting some rest of her own." That's the most still, calm image I can imagine!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I’ve been a meaningful part of seven churches so far in my life, each evangelical except for the one populated by evangelicals who prefix themselves with ‘post.’ I’ve seen five sex scandals go down among eight pastors involved in those seven churches (and one parachurch). And that’s not counting the churches of my friends and family: four gay affairs, five heterosexual affairs, and one porn addict. And that’s not counting the national scandals that have gone down in my lifetime: Mel White, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and now Ted Haggard. And that’s just off the top of my head.
NAE says Ted Haggard’s situation was individual, not institutional. I don’t know anything more than I’ve read in the media about Haggard or the NAE, and I’m not implying anything about that specific situation. In principle, however, I don’t buy it. When evangelical institutions distance themselves from disgraced individuals, they perpetuate the radical individualism that marks evangelicalism. They are also acting more to preserve themselves than to necessarily tell the truth or to love anyone. My suspicions are these: a person is rarely caught the first time they do something. There’s usually a pattern, and there are usually people who saw the pattern unfolding. Even if no one knew about the sexual issues, people knew about how the person handled power, secrets, and authority. Institutions also hold people accountable for how they spend their money and their time. When individuals sin boldly, there are usually institutions and individuals in insitutitons who commit the sin of self-deception. They know, but they don’t want to know, so they tell themselves they don’t know.
"Internally, I think most evangelicals will not tie what happened with Ted Haggard to NAE," said Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn. "They will understand that if there are 45,000 churches [affiliated with NAE], that 44,999 of them have leaders that did not misbehave and that one person misbehaved and that that is an anomaly." I don’t buy that, either. One of my pastors was involved with paid sex workers, and the board agreed to dismiss him quietly, and crafted a lie to offer the congregation. Most people in the congregation would think there was no scandal…or maybe they all know and just don’t talk about it. Another pastor’s affair wasn’t caught until the woman came forward years after he left the church. Another was sold to the masses as a one-time, small-scale deal, even though those selling to the masses knew it was a deal both long-term and big.
The sins of the institution nurture the sin of the individual. My pastor who sexually abused children over at least a 30-year-period did so with the collusion of people in the church and denomination. Children, mothers, and fathers who complained weren’t believed, or their complaints were minimized. In fact, I can’t think of any setting other than a church in which he could have had such access to children. My pastor who developed boundary-crossing emotional relationships with young women over at least a 15-year period did so despite numerous complaints to his superiors by his female colleagues who watched these relationships unfold. And when both of these cases busted open, people who knew said they didn’t know. For all I know they even believed themselves.
In 3 of the 5 cases, I know that people within the institution knew, and not only did nothing, but actively made choices to protect the abuser. In four of the five cases, I know that people knew of patterns of mishandling power and avoidance of accountability, aside from the sexual situation. And in four of the cases, there were dots that were easily connected across various jobs and across expanses of time. For the most part, these men were caught because the laxness of their institutions and the evangelical worship of men in power emboldened them over time.
Their abuse was allowed to continue, in part, because of evangelical practice. We expect our leaders to be morally superior to the masses, and in order to preserve our expectation, we believe this to be so. We often allow pastors privacy in travel, expenses, and other arenas that we wouldn’t allow to others. We often believe men in positions of power more than we believe the women and children who cry out against them. We prevent women from becoming true peers and colleagues to men, and so inhibit the formation of checks and balances that draw on the strengths of all people.
It’s sick and I hate it. Though I was not one of his victims, growing up in a church pastored by a pedophile has affected me forever. It’s influenced my academic interests, my choice to be a safe person for sexual discussion at a Christian college, the churches I choose, and the ways I try to protect my children and others’ children from predators. It’s made power, gender, sex, and abuse central to the way I think about church -- more than a 1 in 45,000 anomaly. No matter how well New Life Church deals with their situation, Haggard has given 14,000 more people a lifetime worth of questions and doubts about spirituality, power, and church.
17 Comments:
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I WAS with you. I AM with you.
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I appreciate your thoughts on this. I grew up in an evangelical church but left because I am gay. I have to admit to some glee at seeing the hypocrisy of Pastor Ted exposed. There is something especially bad about a guy who's been trying to whip up voters to go to the polls to vote against gay rights who's 'on the down low' (to borrow a phrase). I look forward to the time when evangelical churches stop sharpening their fangs on the gay issue. On a brighter note, I see evangelical churches in Ohio fighting for higher minimum wages and here in Idaho working on environmental issues. I grew up in evangelical churches back when you didn't talk about politics in church. The good ol' days I guess. Trying to make peace with where I once was,
Jasper.By
, at 8:00 PM
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Jenell,
Phew! Amazing witness. This is an important post you've written. Thank you for cutting through the rhetoric.
Much of evangelical Christianity has been consumed with a reactionary authoritarian mindset. And it seems like one of the fruits of that way of thinking is denial; profound denial. You testify of how frequently this denial plays out. May God give us the courage to put an end to it.By
, at 11:05 PM
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Yep, you are absolutely right. Ted Haggard's situation is just a symptom of a larger systemic problem, and I think you analyzed it well.
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well said, I long for the day when a pastor is "come along side of" and a whole congregation/organization takes ownership right along with him.
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i like your phrase, "the sins of the institution nurture the sins of the individual" very good line ,and so true. so often, it is hard for victims to cry out against their once nurturing church,when most of the harm vs the victim has been in silencing the truth, and allowing this collusion, minimizing, revictimizing. But in the silencing, indeed, they nurture the predator pastor/priest's behavior. In your reference to your other pastors' "affairs", if these were women within the church congregation, it is best to refer to these as exploitative relationships (or perhaps entanglements) as "affair" implies consent and there is no true consent when there is an imbalance of power. Advocateweb.org is an excellent site for help for victims. I fear this is very commonplace, unfortunately among many professionals in power.Thanks for your fine essay on the topic.
atticus,
a survivor of sexual exploitation by counselor and pastor (whose predator is now a registered sex offender for life--it is a felony offense in the state of Texas for a counselor (licensed or not) to have a sexual relationship with his/her patient. ) -
Atticus,
Thank you! What a powerful clarification. The five situations I discussed were all male pastors, in exploitative relationship with children, a teenage church female, sex workers, young adult females, and a female counseling client.
Absolutely right - none of those are affairs, because that word does carry implications of egalitarianism and consent. The victims were all persons of lower status and power within the perpetrator's community.By
, at 9:00 AM
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jenell, this is such an important post - thank you for using your platform here to challenge these damaging misconceptions.
By
, at 12:54 PM
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YES! Yes! Yes. Your insights are excellent, and right along how I feel about these things...and unfortunately, similar experience.
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I think that ordeals like what you have described are more common than we realize. (Duh - this is basically the whole point of your post: but I still have to say it.)
Everyone - predator, victim, bystanders - believes that they are untouchable. It is earth-shatteringly devastating to be affected by the evils of sexual exploitation, whether personally or by connection. Although not talked about regularly, it is something that affects many more people, families, and congregations than anyone would ever guess. It just kills me.By
, at 11:30 PM
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"When evangelical institutions distance themselves from disgraced individuals, they perpetuate the radical individualism that marks evangelicalism. They are also acting more to preserve themselves than to necessarily tell the truth or to love anyone." This makes me so sad, Jenell-- you put your finger exactly on it. I keep hoping with each of these scandals that the church will humble ourselves and change and not just "move on", as the guy in your link said.
KatieBy
, at 10:22 AM
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Thank you for the thoughtfulness of exposing institutional sin. The culture of hero worship within the church is far too powerful. About 2 years ago, my Senior Pastor, good friend and mentor committed suicide. The isolation, power, and unrealistic expectations of the church all fed his struggle with clinical depression. In a way, we all allowed his diseas to kill him, because we didn't make him get help or place the necessary checks and balances around him to insure his health. Ted Haggard was not the exception to the rule. He was just the biggest name to be held accountable in a while. It is sad to think of how many other churches in of the 45K will go through the same thing.
Blessings-
GregBy
Greg Arthur, at 10:17 AM
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Jenell,
I found your post through ChristianityToday.com. I am glad I read it; you presented some very important points. I am strongly reminded of Revelations Chapters 2-3; clearly it is not merely the individual who is accountable to God, but also the institution and the community. I think your point that the sins of the institution nurture the sins of the individual has a lot to do with that!
I myself am a young man, and have had off-and-on struggles with internet pornography for years. I was introduced to it by friends and unfortunately was foolish enough not to stand up for my convictions when it happened. Through it all I have learned how dangerous, serious, ugly, and harmful sexual sin can be. Thank God for His mercy and power to cleanse! But in order to have that, I had to be open about my struggles both with the Lord and people; I had to face the reality of what I was doing and to this day I am not confident in my own strength to resist temptation. And make no mistake; the power to overcome such sin comes from a very alive, risen, and ascended Christ. No amount of counseling, discipline, and accountability got me anywhere without Him.
Nevertheless, I can't imagine having been in a significant position of church leadership while struggling with that sin. It would have been horrible; thank God I am dealing with this _now_, and learning these lessons! Sin is sin; like you said, Ted's sins _really do_ affect _all_ of his congregation, and now many people beyond! We who call ourselves Christians need to treat sin with the same enmity as God with no excuses, for God will allow us none when we stand before Him. We must begin with our own lives, and we must extend it to our churches.By
, at 3:05 PM
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I've often thought that the ancient concept of primum non nocere-first do no harm-should be part of every pastor's ordination vows and held to legal standards. Many people obviously failed Ted Haggard and his family by averting their eyes or ignoring the warning signs. The difficulty will lie in changing the institutions where such behaviors and expectations are entrenched. Hopefully, this situation will become catalyst for change in churches where similar problems lurk. Thank you for speaking plainly.
By
, at 6:51 PM
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It's easy to tear down and point fingers. I grew up in the church and I am an active worship leader. I can remember only once in my many years of knowing someone personally that fell like this. We cannot police every person that has authority in the church. I know scandal happens but I don't believe it's the rule. What's in your closet? What did you do late at night with your boy friend? Did you presume something about somebody and you talked about them and they left the church. David was forgiven by God so I will choose to forgive as well. I hope Ted (and all of us) continue to find peace and forgiveness...and mercy.
By
, at 12:23 AM
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To Anonymous (11:23PM),
I agree with you that forgiveness is important, but the thing is not about 'policing' people. That will just turn Christianity into a legalistic society based on whether you have done it or not. We need to always get our relationship with Christ right, and one of the many byproducts of following Christ is a desire to set our relationship right with Him.
This means that if we are in a position of authority, we must be ever so careful never to allow power or temptation to overwhelm us. It means that even more so than others, we must first choose to be open, to set that standard of leadership. yes we practise forgiveness but we too must practise holiness for God desires it. This is because we will stand before God accountable for our actions and whether we have led people astray.
Jenell, you're right in pointing out that the sins of the institution has led to many issues in individuals. And it would be wise if we as the church really reflect upon ourselves and see collectively what we have become. Let's not forget that while Jesus ministers to the individuals, He also desires unity and one body.By
, at 2:55 AM
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Incredibly well said. I particularly appreciate the point that we worship men in power in evangelical circles. Lord, keep us from idolatry!
Elizabeth Andrew was our guest speaker in Women's Spiritual Experiences a few weeks ago. She said a number of challenging things, and a great many comforting things, about her own spiritual journey and the writing life. The following week, we debriefed her visit. One student said, with an archetypally strident college tone of voice, "I'm just saying that I was Very Uncomfortable with what she said about us breastfeeding on God. I tried to picture it, and I'm just Not OK with that."
I said, "Can you describe what makes you uncomfortable?"
She said, "Well, not really, it's just, ugh, oh, I just don't like it!"
I said, "Fair enough."
The guest speaker had been talking about John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul. She said that John said he had been weaned from God's breast, left without an instant call-and-response pattern. Elizabeth said her 'weaning' led her into experiencing God in silence and in darkness, and that this was maturing for her.
In response to my queasy student, I found an article that lists biblical references for the divine feminine. I said I'd use some of them for my own daily devotions (which I don't normally do, but I am now) for a week or so. Here's the first one.
Isaiah 42 (specifically, verses 13-14)
God has been still and restrained, but now God is about to 'cry out like a woman in labor, I will gasp and pant.' In the verse prior, God 'goes forth like a soldier, like a warrior he stirs up his fury..." God is about to unleash some fury against the natural world and against the Israelites, hoping to call them back to attention.
Seems to me that the writer is using an ultimate masculine image and an ultimate feminine image for God's strength and fury. Both a warrior and a laboring woman are at the brink, fearing for their own lives, even as they hold someone else's life in their hands. Both are totally in the moment, every bit of physical and mental strength focused on the task at hand. Both are unrestrained in their physical energy, but mentally are hyperaware and focused. The man intends to take life, and the woman intends to make life.
God is like us. Like men and like women, God becomes energized and furious, capable of summoning tremendous strength. I'm not sure how much further to take the metaphor, based on my experience of labor. I was afraid and uncertain as to whether or not I could do it, I needed alot of help, and if there had been any way out of the situation other than through it, I would have escaped. I'm not so sure God is like us in those ways, but it's worth pondering.
2 Comments:
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God did "go through it" on the cross with Christ. Great thoughts--thanks for the devotional ideas.
By
, at 2:41 PM
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Jesus' prayer in the garden is a pretty clear indicator that he, too, would have chosen to escape if it were possible. I'm glad you're pointing out these feminine images of God to your students. I never heard a one of them until I was in seminary, and even then I had to take a feminist theology class to find out that there is plenty of girl in God.
By
, at 11:06 PM
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
There's a pop definition that says "insanity is repeating the same action over and over, expecting a different result." Well, insanity paid off today. I have had inadequate health care coverage due to a Situation, and called my health insurance a few weeks ago and got things improved by about 50%. I called again today, just repeating the same process as before, and got a 100% result. Perhaps when dealing with an insane system, an insane approach is just what's needed.
The other point of insanity is this paperclip who is exuding jazzy music and insultingly simplistic suggestions at me everytime I make a move in Word. How is that helpful for my writing process? If a paperclip could write my book for me, I'd hire one. I would like to send him to H.E.DoubleHockeySticks. I got rid of him at work, but as demons are prone to do, he has popped up here at home. If we repress our problems instead of truly facing them, they keep coming back. (The truth is that I just installed Office at home, and haven't customized all the settings yet). If you know, tell me how to deal with him once and for all.
That's the sort of question that, in the good old days, Rachel would answer within 45 seconds of me posting it. I'm not sure whether or not she's here anymore...
6 Comments:
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My paperclip goes away if you "right click" on him. There's also an option to "hide" him on the dropdown menu under "help."
How can you resist the helpful eyebrows though?By
, at 1:07 PM
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I always have the temptation to revert to childhood and throw spitballs at the Little Paperclip. I resist ~ but I do wish the little guy would stop smirking at me. :)
Peace,
Thailand Gal
~*~*~*By
, at 1:11 PM
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Getting rid of the evil Paperclip on multiple PCs is like wack-a-mole. It keeps coming back, as if some wierd natural law were at work.
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you can also turn him into something else. I used to have albert einstein instead who would walk on to the screen and drop his coat, then leave with a sneeze when i sent him away. Really,
By
, at 4:54 PM
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Best option is probably to uninstall it.
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Seems like you've gotten some pretty good advice already, so I won't repeat the "uninstall" instructions. :)
I stop by here pretty much everyday, but don't comment much anymore. This baby-making has taken a lot out of me & I don't often feel I have anything to contribute.
10 Comments:
that is an exceptional first sentence.
Oh, and the rest is good too.
By
carla, at 4:06 PM
Hi, Jenell,
I have some thoughts (not answers, but on-topic musings) on the question you posted over at the Think Tank, but I didn't get my two cents in before the conversation had descended to pitting Augustine against Foucault. So I posted them on my own blog. You're welcome to come by for a look if you like.
By
Anonymous, at 6:46 PM
do not knock the maternity overalls. While having a carefully placed piece of hay between your teeth should be in order while wearing them, the relief from having to pull your pants up 7,987 times in a 14 hour period is a small price to pay. If only I could find a pair that were not high waters. Like the embarrassment of wearing them is not enough.
By
Kristen, at 9:34 PM
I'd like to see a picture!
Kayla
By
Anonymous, at 11:22 PM
At least you have a pregnancy to excuse/explain the waistband problem. I only have doughnuts...
By
Anonymous, at 12:51 PM
Jenell-
This is Mr. Kinney --- Tara tipped me off on your mockery of my pants, my fat face and the like.
You've wounded me deeply. North View Junior High is a better place because of me.
By
Mr Kinney, at 9:27 PM
Fun post Jenell ... I never had him, but I can picture him.
Please blog about Mr Anderle (sp) (who taught Algebra)next time you feel like traveling back in time. I would enjoy hearing your memories of his clothing and demeanor too.
By
Anonymous, at 9:30 PM
Crap. thanks alot, Tara.
By
Jenell, at 6:09 PM
Did I scare you ... be honest ... did you think it was him? HA. How fun that would have been.
Good times.
By
Anonymous, at 8:54 PM
No, I wasn't really scared. Mr. Kinney may google himself from time to time, but he probably uses his first name, not "Mr."!
By
Jenell, at 9:26 PM
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