Open Letter to the Cranky Receptionist at the Doctor's Office Who Looked At Me Like I Was a Bad Mother Because I Didn't Know My Son's Social Security Number, Our Health Care Information, or My Own Phone Number,

Part of the reasons I become a cultural anthropologist who uses qualitative research methods is because I wasn't smart enough to do anything else, specially, things with numbers. Moving across the country has resulted in so many new numbers that I've forgotten even the ones that I had before we moved. These new numbers include:

cell phone
home phone
husband's cell
work phone
health care ID
three boys' health care IDs
gen ed budget
sociology budget
address
new house address
email login
email pin
driver's license
facebook login
google login
personal checking
joint checking
savings
bank pin
work I D
library pin
voicemail pin
voicemail call number
blackboard login
blackboard pin

So, to the receptionist at the doctor's office, I say that to understand is not always to excuse, but in this case, it is.

They like me, they really like me

In keeping with the beginning of a new school year, I'm hoping for new friends. I just asked to friend everyone I know at my new college who is on facebook, including a bunch of faculty, campus pastors and the college president. Soon, perhaps even within hours, I will feel very popular.

Opinions needed

I'm working on a new personal website that will be at messiah.edu. The photo/vitae/links to publications/contact info kind of site. I will put a headshot on it, but should I also put a photo of me with my family? Would that be inviting and authentic, or inappropriate for the workplace and irritating?

I'm a 'be your whole self' kind of professional, but I also realize there are boundaries. Take yesterday, for instance. It was our first day of new employee orientation, and about 45 minutes into the day I met a woman who is also from Minnesota. I said I was homesick and started crying.

That's not cool. The phrase "homesick for Minnesota" will not appear on the website.

The Working Mother's Dilemma

Fall semester begins in 32 hours: new faculty orientation, campus retreat, then classes.

I do not want to go to work. I want to be with my kids all the time. My body is a temple when used as repository for boogers, tears, and urine. My mind is worshiping the Lord when exercising itself on meal planning and unit pricing on diapers. Days of playing, listening to them sleep, and cleaning up after my loved ones is bliss. They will be seriously harmed if anyone other than me attempts to care for them. God knew what He was doing when He told women to stay home. What looks like wifely submission is really women getting away with having the good life.

I love work. Work is a break from home, and home is a break from work, and I need them both. I need to talk to adults about big ideas like culture, vocation, and philosophy. I need to write with phrases longer than grocery lists and be part of the world outside my household. My kids are not enough; I need to give of myself to others. My husband and I are raising our family together -- my children do not belong to me alone, and I am not their only or best care-giver. God knew what God was doing when God gave me a vision for living large -- loving all of my families including my nuclear family, my Christian family, and my human family. What may look like feminist shenanagans is really women living the full lives they were created to live.

And, as I have every fall since 1977, I can't help but make new school year's resolutions. In the past, my resolutions were all about becoming more socially adept. I will be less shy this year. I will make more friends this year. I will talk to boys this year. I will make everyone like me this year. I won't be mean to anyone this year.

I intend to carry each of those resolutions forward into the 2007-08 school year, and am making some fresh resolutions as well. I am going to a new school this year, after all. Here's three: I will make peace with the way I dress. I will try not to be hyper. I will let people know who I really am.

Did you make fall resolutions when you were in school? Do you have one this year?

Happy

One of my blog posts was upgraded here to a Christianity Today Online essay.

Happy birthday to me, 35 times over

I can see that some assorted body parts correlate with my birth certificate, but for the most part, I don't feel 35. Well, I do feel 35, but not only 35. At one point several years ago, just after my triplets died, I thought to myself, "My youth is gone. I'll never be young, naive, happy, or hopeful again." How sad it was to be only an adult. Now I'm feeling a resurgence of selves, and am glad to see that my childhood and youth are still going strong.

I'm still 7, on my first sleep-over, crying for my mom and refusing to be comforted by my friend's mom who, as she held me, didn't smell like my mom. I'm out here exploring the world and having adventures on my own, and remember well what it felt like to have a home and parents to come back to. I miss that.

I'm still 8, lying in the grass watching for fairies. I sense there are incredibly important and special things that are just about to happen to me. God speaks to me, and I like it.

I'm still 10, nourished by books. And speaking of moms, mine sent me two great books for my birthday: A Thousand Splended Suns by Khaled Hosseini and Twinkie, Deconstructed by Steve Ettlinger. At 10 she used to take away my books and force me to play outside. At 35 I feel safer in my new office than I do anywhere else in this new place. I'm not sure what I'm doing in Pennsylvania or who I will be here, but I do know that I'm the person who has read all those books.

I'm still 19, in love with Pennsylvania. I spent two summers in Philly doing youth ministry, and at one point declared the Penna Turnpike to be the most beautiful road in the world. I now see why people found that comment laughable, but I'm standing by it. At 19 I vowed to return to Philadelphia for a lifetime of urban ministry. Now here I am in the semi-rural outskirts of Harrisburg, teaching anthropology. (Vows like that are similar to marriage vows - your promises are over the top, and then you live with what you get.)

I'm still 23, falling in love with James and dreaming about what a life together could be.

I'm still 31, stunned by grief, wondering whether hope or joy will ever be mine.

And I'm 35, and have been for nine hours now. The best part of my day was hiking the Appalachian Trail -- well, a trailhead that leads to the Trail as it runs through Boiling Springs -- with Oliver and Wesley. They helped me remember that I'm also still 2, living from the gut. If you fall down and it hurts, cry hard and then get up and start running again. If you see something interesting, stop and look at it. If you enjoy the sound you just made, then make it again and again. And if you need to be held, find someone you love and hold your arms wide open.

Feliz cumpleanos a mi!

I'm 35 today! What do I want for my birthday? I'd like comments that offer personal reflections on the age 35: what was your life like when you were 35, or what do you expect it to be like when you reach such an advanced age?

And I'll post an update soon...

Priorities

Please order the following list in order of priority:

1. find the cat
2. locate coffeemaker
3. nurse baby
4. play with twins
5. hear about mother-in-law's trip to Europe (she's here helping us)
6. find my workplace
7. file my I9
8. locate grocery store
9. figure out what's for dinner
10. set up kitchen
11. rescue flooded books and research materials from bottom of 7 boxes soaked with water from flooded basement due to improperly installed washing machine
12. take a shower
13. finish the children's book I started writing last night
14. set up toy station for boys
15. charge cell phone

The mountain we live on is beautiful, our rental is perfect, and cicadas serenade us to sleep at night. We made it!!